First, I heard the concept of serving leftovers to God from
the book, “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan. Over a year ago, I read that book and
felt an enormity of conviction about my love relationship with God. What stuck
with me are the crazy things people in love do, and whether or not I feel that
way about God. But, just recently, I have been obsessed with the concept of
serving leftovers to God. I re-read the chapter, “Serving leftovers to a holy
God” tonight. The lack of commitment to Christ I see is driving me crazy. And
all the time, as I see people making time for everything in the world but God,
I think these words, “Well God, I already served dinner, but would you like
some of these cold mashed potatoes from yesterday?”
There is a reason why this problem burdens my heart. I have
served God leftovers most of my life. I could go to church nearly every Sunday
and not offer to God my first and best. I could spend my time in church each
week, and still manage to avoid total abandon with Christ. Since, I spent so
long in this self-made prison, I can’t help but recognize when I see it in
others. Don’t misunderstand. I am not saying, “Oh. I just wish everyone could
love Jesus like I do!” It is not about me at all. On the contrary, I just can’t
stand to see people locking the shackles, when I have felt freedom. I also know
that we cannot break free without radically loving Christ. He doesn’t want our
second serving. He wants our first. In fact, he calls giving lame, second best
sacrifices evil (Malachi 1:8). So, it isn’t busyness. It’s evil.
What does all this mean? What does it look like to give God
our second best? I’m not sure it looks the same in everyone, but I do know one
thing. What is most important to you is constantly on your mind. If you have
kids, no matter what you are doing they are somewhere readily accessible in
your thoughts. You don’t think about them in certain places, but you are
constantly reminded of them by things all the time. How often does God enter
your thoughts? We are controlled by what is in our mind. If we are filled with
the spirit, we want to serve God. That is what it looks like to give God first
position. If we are filled with busyness and activity and self we are
controlled by ourselves and what we consider our best interest to be. We forget
to do things we planned to do at church, we miss fellowships together and we
have legitimate and good excuses that let us off the hook with other people.
But God is not fooled. He knows whom He taken a backseat to.
I had a powerful moment with God recently that nearly
brought me to tears. I had to cry out to him and say, “God, I have to know… if
what I see is okay for everyone else, it must be okay for me. So, can I serve you
when I don’t have a valid excuse to do otherwise, or can I put the blessings
you have given me like children and family first?” I know you already know the
answer to this in your mind, and so did I. I know God is above my darling
husband, and my beautiful children, and all of the other things that loving
these blessings brings into my life. But, in that moment, I needed to know it
with my heart. “God, I know I am supposed to put you before all the things in
my life, but that’s not what I see in other Christians. So is it ok, or isn’t
it?” And God spoke to my spirit. And with a sigh of relief and a heart
satisfied, I knew that if I gave Jesus all I had, first and always, He would
give me more that I could love others with. I have to put Christ first, and in
doing that I will have more love for my husband, and more patience with my kids
and more compassion for other people who just don’t get it.
Jesus is amazing. Don’t serve Him re-warmed ham and beans. A
King deserves a feast!
"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these
things will be added to you." ~ Matthew 6:33
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